i lowkey wanna break up with him

Problem/Goal: i (23F) lowkey wanna break up w my bf (22M). i dont know how, i dont know if its gonna be the right decision or what. pero super love ko parin naman siya at alam kong super love niya ko. and given the circumstances, ang hirap din. first of all, he lives with us (my family) due to some issues he has with his own fam. my family loves him sobra to the point that they offered to take him in. it’s been like that for almost 2 yrs na. note that we are almost 7 yrs na haha. well, sobrang bait niya. like, nag sshare siya sa bahay, and as in sa ugali at pag trato sakin, wala akong masabi. even my friends napapa sana all kasi sobrang bait.

Context: so why do i wanna break up? first is he’s broke. been like that ever since. im the kind of person na hindi tinitignan yung financial status ng kahit sino. hindi naman mayaman yung family ko but i have ambitions. mindset ko lagi is “as long as mahal niya ko, im good” but i think im having enough of it na. this mindset just doesn’t work for me anymore kasi hindi na ko pa bata. we both have work now pero hindi ganon kalaki sinasahod niya. just enough for him and also pinapaaral nya yung younger sibling niya. dahil dito, most of the time ako gumagastos sa dates namin. minsan sumasagot naman siya or kkb, pero mas madalas talaga ako, for the past 7 yrs. its not like sinusumbat ko yon but u know, sometimes i feel like nanay niya ko haha minsan ako pag nagbibigay ng baon at pang gas niya for work. minsan, sumasagi sa isip ko, what does it feel like to date someone na hindi ka lagi magwoworry financially

second, he’s sooooo emotionally unavailable. like oo he’s kind. but he can’t fulfill my emotional needs. he’d always say na na ccringe siya pag pinag uusapan mga ganong bagay. he rarely talks about what he’s feeling. pag tinatry ko siya kausapin lagi nalang siya na ccringe. ayaw niya daw ng mga drama drama. when i ask him about himself like “ano ba nafefeel mo?”. lagi niyang sagot is di niya alam. i believe him na hindi niya talaga alam. i think he is not capable of naming his emotions and feelings. i tried to understand this kasi traumatic yung childhood niya. i’d always think na maybe that’s his way to protect himself from these heavy emotions. it’s to shut it all out, to the point na hindi niya na ma distinguish yung nararamdaman niya. I TRIED SOOO HARD to understand this. for 7 years, i tried to under this, but its draining. its really fucking draining. pag need ko ng kausap, i cant talk to him kasi nga ganon. hahahaha

Note: well ayun lang. IDK PANO KAMI MAGHIHIWALAY kasi pag nag break kami, idk pano ko ipprocess yun. 7yrs is not a joke. we basically grew up together. but that’s the point. we’re growing up. mas narerealize ko na yung mga bagay na deserve ko and im thinking about my future. tbh, idk san ako dadalhin ng buhay if i’m gonna choose to settle down with him. and also, pag naghiwalay kami, san siya titira hahahahahahahahahah