It's been sometime, I'm craving a trip, yet I don't feel like...

I've been using lsd five or seven years ago. I used to trip once a month or two... Nowadays, I barely use it, it's like once per 6 month or a year maybe... And it's mostly 100ug. I feel like I need it the most now, I got back to drinking and I'm smoking heavily... So that's my intention somehow, to improve the situation and to remember that I matter and that I love myself and that "it's all perfect". It's like remembering the possibility... The thing is that I don't feel like using it, maybe I don't feel like I have the proper setting for it..m I don't care about the set, as I have used it in my worst, and that was my intention... I want to experience magic again but something feels off... I don't know what it is...