What can I do

I've been struggling with blasphemous thoughts for a long time now (one year), and I can't tell where they're coming from.

Sometimes, I can't tell if they're from me or the enemy, but it's gotten to the point where I don't feel anything, and I just keep sinning. I barely feel convicted anymore, and I don't know what to do. When I've repented in the past, I barely felt anything.

I'm considering going to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed for religious OCD, because some of the people I've spoken to have mainly said it sounds like it, but I don't want to self diagnose and would rather get checked by a professional.

Whenever someone mentions the end times, the unforgivable sin or religion, the thoughts flare up again. But when I try to ignore them, I get ugly thoughts and fight back because it feels like that if I don't, then I'll somehow commit the unforgivable sin.

I feel so empty and numb, I'm losing sleep and I'm not eating much because that's when they attack me the most. It's unbearable.