stuck

i’m a 15 yr old girl and i was almost groomed by my nanny over a long period of time when i was smaller and i keep on getting stuck on it and i feel like it really affects my thoughts. people remind me of her all the time, cars remind me of her, perfume, songs, everything. when they do remind me of her i get anxious and attached at the same time. i blocked out most of my memories with her also. i often feel like im just waiting for one of my friends to bring up something related so i can just share one not that concerning thing that she said or did to me and just see if their reaction is normal because sometimes i can’t tell. i dont know what to do. i talk to myself about it on walks, in the shower, ask around online for hours. i feel like im tying myself into a knot when i talk abt it with my therapist since she wont give me a clear answer if i was groomed or not but when i asked on reddit most people told me yes. but i wont take yes for an answer and im like living in denial or something even tho i constantly want answers. my friends are tired of mentioning her in any context, but im even more tired of my brain being full of her. what should i do?