I think I've been learning korean wrong 😭

This might be so melodramatic but I'm feeling so melodramatic about this LOL

I've been learning Korean simply for fun for about 9 months now, and I'm treading somewhere between a 1b and 2a level--which I am so very happy with, I have a pretty good case of ADHD so the fact that I've actually stuck to something is a win enough for me. That being said, because of my ADHD, 2-3 days of the week I cram a bunch of vocab or grammar, mostly grammar, then barely study--if at all--for the rest of my week and don't retain all that much, and as the cycle repeats and I keep trying to learn more I forget stuff easily, and I feel like my Korean skills are constantly doing a 2 steps forward, one step back sorta thing, which has gotten me to this weird point where I know all of this grammar, not that many actually useful words (I know beginner words, then a bunch of ultra specific words and I mean it when I say that's about it), and forget everything when I need to actually actively recall things when I'm talking to my tutor or someone on HelloTalk or whatever, and when I'm listening to my tutor speak (beyond absolute beginner conversation ofc) I hear the words I know, I hear the grammar I know, but cannot for the life of me put them together and comprehend it, let alone try to respond and it's so unbearably annoying LOL

I'm not really looking for advice, but if I'm being truly honest I just needed to get all of this off my chest and this seemed like an okay place to do that 😭😭😭