A little bit of hope

Hello all. I was a long time user here under the name Sufficient Order. Maybe some long time users will recognize the name. I won’t recant every story from my old account.

The high points were my wife cheated on me, repeatedly over the span of our freshly turned 11 year marriage. She has some serious issues like BPD, childhood SA, Bipolar 2 and ADHD. For the conditions that are medication dependent, she does well taking her meds and I don’t want to not give credit where credit is due. She has also been explosive, hitting me, telling me to kill myself repeatedly (I’m a Veteran who has struggled with attempts myself) thrown large jars at me, that she would just message whoever the guy was more- these were all around times I would find something on her phone, or walk into the home and she would be talking to X guy. We have three young kids- as kids are wonderful but they can create some bumps to a smooth transition out of marriage. This last fall, it was especially bad. Day after day she’d say he’s everything that I’m not, I’d find love notes, I’d find sexually explicit texts videos- they would talk poorly about me together. There’s more- way more but clearly I was devastated. I carried our entire family through that, my kids everyone while their mom was partially hospitalized for months while she was out doing whatever. I’ve found three new guys in the last couple weeks.

The gaslighting manipulation and hostility is at an all time high, daily disrespects and when I called her out on it a couple days ago- I came home to find she had cut her wrists. I have an attorney on retainer and getting ready to move that direction. But there is still hope, and we were taught this in rescue diving you can’t save a panicking person or they’ll pull you both under to die. Don’t attach yourself to someone who’s going to drown. You.

Good luck everyone, we’re all going though some variation of the same things