Returning Player: Thoughts

Picked the game back up after seeing it released to steam. Easily sank way too many hours into it already! The game is definitely fun and addictive… but in no way shape or form will I recommend it to new players… this has nothing to do with the monetization that I hear people gripe about. Truthfully I don’t really follow development news so that’s a can of worms I’m not even gonna tackle… I’m more so looking at this from a “beginner player” perspective of the actual game itself…

This game is not fair… at all. And no this isn’t me really complaining about losing or busted builds… I mean literally it feels like the game actively tries to harm you more than aid… I have no shield items. Get 4/5 gum balls yellow! Picking a random skill? Get a poison one even though you don’t have a poison item! Tired of not finding any large items? It’s ok! There’s a vendor that sells small AND large… but I refreshed and he still only sells 3 smalls!

I used to read how when people complained about the unfairness… it was more so the player’s fault for getting themselves into the situation they are in… but… how the hell else could they? Literally you have little choice in how you want you run to go… since that one item you really need… you can go 5 games in a row without ever seeing it. It feels like the games says it has all these items to make cool builds with… but really only select a few from the pool to shove in your face over and over. There’s been countless times where I will see the same items over and over and over in the shops or random events… why? I’ll get copper versions of items i have in silver… and they are literally useless…

Pve fights are fun. Since it’s the one constant in the fucking game. At least when you lose to one of the ai you at least expect it. Wonder if that’s why every time you pick a pve fight… they are listed from easy to hardest! But even then my big reward for actively choosing the hardest fight! You know. The fights that are super challenging with crazy item combinations that you can’t find anywhere else?! If you win…it’s a random chance to get an item or skill! Not one you’d need or want… but one regardless! Why? Because fuck you!

Why not have the reward for the fight… have the board turn to a merchant? We fought them and proved our worth. So in exchange for gold we managed to save before the fight, if we win we can spend it here as well! At least then it’s not a fucking waste of time getting a cinder as a reward from a fight when I don’t have a single fire item…

Also… along with the fights… pvp is just poorly handled. For an asynchronous auto battler… I’m fighting too many strong builds every time. Why as a Vanessa am I expected on day 2 to defeat a mak with a board of regen items that get him to a total of nearly 50 regen while I have a gun I can’t even reload…also, some items just straight counter other characters. That boar mak has that poisons when I use a weapon… as Vanessa weapon build, I’m actively forced to cary some form of healing to even counter that. But it’s not even guaranteed that I’ll have to worry about that anyway! Let alone I’m fighting people of higher ranks more than my own? ranking makes no sense. I thought the point was you know.. to challenge people of my skill? Slowly beating them and scaling to challenge better and better opponents! Not some legendary Stelle who’s just gonna blink and evaporate me while I’m only a silver 3

Ok… I’m just gonna say it. Stelle is pay to win. If you pay 20 bucks you can easily win early and mid game. Enough to carry you up rankings. All her items are so much faster than everybody else and her flying “gimmick” is just annoying. WOW an item that’s flying gets buffed! And the enemy can’t relatively slow or freeze them! How genius! Oh and while we’re at it, if they’ve stop flying… we buff em even more! Shouldn’t there be like a drawback to flying? Haste is countered by slow or freeze already… why does slow and freeze now need countered?

Most her items are 4 seconds cooldown… 4?!?! So she can get her entire board flying before a pig man can even fucking blink. How’s that fair? More importantly… how’s that fun? Like… she just does everybody’s gimmick better… but with flying. Blink and she somehow gets up to 220 regen with a kite… a KITE?!?! She gets an even better version of a late game item that reduces its cools down by a second every time it used… multi cast if flying! So how slow is it originally you’d ask? 7 seconds… so… put a shadowed cloak behind that somebitch make it fly and suddenly it’s hasted longer than its’s cooldown already! How fair! Oh wait I’m not done! She can make her whole board fly and suddenly you’re getting burned 32 before you can even act. Oh but don’t worry, she’s already about to burn you again and again and oh hey 15%crit on her burn items crits more that my 45%Langxian! Oh well….

Quests are a fun introduction. Neat little risk reward addition… too bad Vanessa gets one… huh… the pirate lady… pirates last time I heard… go on quests… with maps… for treasure… but instead she can either haste or slow 10 times….really interesting! Potion seller? He collects these relics… and uh… yeah he collects them… and uses them…what a quest that is… at least with the dog you sell food, so like your taming him better? Idk it’d be cool to see more unique quests besides buy and sell. Like, what if an item buffed for every quest you did, or you do a quest to get a reward and the rewards can be used as buffs or helpful tools.

Little sidebar as well… take this part with a grain of salt… why are piranhas so bad? Two items specifically give them to you, technically 3-4 I think, yet that are abysmally bad. 6 second cool down… one less than the dog. The dog that mind you, upgrades to get faster and has a quest to give it multicast and make it even faster… yes… piranhas are known for being the slow and precise critically hitting killers… and not just a swarm that their photo literally depicts them as… I mean… double crit damage is cool… but there’s also a literal claw that’s 3 seconds cooldown with double crit damage… granted yeah it deals like… 10 less damage maybe… but…idk I just wanna chum bucket and board full of piranhas is that too much to ask!

I really enjoy this game… when I’m not actively getting tripped and laughed at for falling as I pick myself back up. I didn’t mean to fall. This asshole just tripped me, and yet I cant find anybody else calling this asshole out. I’ve been playing this nonstop for a few days now… and honestly probably still will. Even though I sound like a jackass complaining, I really do enjoy this game. But all I can hear about the game is nobody actually talking about what it feels like to play the game.

I see all these fun builds sure. Some absolutely busted combinations or ideas. Yet I don’t hear anybody mention… how fucking obnoxious the last 5 games have been before this one single good run… idk maybe I’m just malding after wasting days upon days grinding to just now make it to gold rank finally and realizing how more negative than positive the experience has been…

My ass is still gonna play it though lol