My boyfriend is addicted to cam girls and watching women strip online. Is it possible for him to change? What does this mean?

Recently my boyfriend (34) was showing me (36)his emails and while it was open I seen an email with 😜💦🔥😘 emojis and I asked what that was. He yanked the phone away and tried to hide it. I said no, what is that. It became a huge fight. Him refusing to show me his phone and we almost broke up. He finally showed me his phone and it was a bunch of googleclassroom invites. I’m talking 20 plus a day. Saying come join so and so in this naughty chat. Or something I can’t remember. But very obviously porn stuff. Immediately I felt devastated. He told me that’s just scam. He doesn’t know how it got in there. And he can’t get rid of it. So I decided to check his web history…

I find a bunch of cam girl sites. Every morning he wakes up early and spends an excessive amount of time “pooping.” Sometimes when he comes back in he wakes me up and has sex with me. Well on this day that’s what happened. That morning he woke me up to sex. I was happy cause he hadn’t had sex with me in a week. It breaks my heart to learn he only had sex with me because he got horny watching other women strip and do naughty things for him. To me it’s different than porn. I have no problem with porn. I love porn. But it’s not a single person live doing things for you. And it’s not me just solely looking at a man getting of to him.

He promised he would stop and he’s sorry. But then a week later we decided to have a weekend away. I brought lots of lingerie and looked up how to strip since he told me that’s what he was into. We went to a bar and we got drunk. He decided he wanted to go to the strip club after the bar closed. I don’t mind occasional strip club stuff but generally for a birthday or special event. As I don’t want it to become a routine thing. Well that night he made the decision while I was incredibly drunk and drove there. I got sick on the way from his erratic driving and extra shot he made me take before leaving the room. So when we parked. I almost threw up. I told him one moment. I feel sick. He started getting annoyed with me. Telling me to hurry up. And saying, god let’s just go then since you OBVIOUSLY don’t want to go. I said no I wanna go. Just give me a moment. I might throw up. (I didn’t want to get us kicked out if I threw up inside) but he kept getting mad at me rushing me. I get up and start walking inside and then he keeps going on about how I don’t want to go. Let’s just go home. And I told him to stop talking to me like that. And he yelled so I said imma just go home. And walked away. I planned on just calling an Uber because I didn’t want to be around him. He chased me down the street yelling at me. Almost fought a guy who tried to intervene. He was just asking if I was ok. And then the cops got called. I had to convince them he wasn’t abusing me. Humiliating. We drive back and again I get sick. I feel he’s driving bad on purpose to throw me around the car at every turn. I get sick again. Once we parked I fall out and almost throw up. I hadn’t eaten in awhile so nothing would come out. He again was annoyed and yelled at me. Next morning he woke up and acted like nothing happened.

I checked his history yesterday to make sure he was holding up what he was saying. Cause I’m on the verge of leaving him. I found he was looking at fanfix links on ig. And watching so many videos on YouTube of women trying on outfits. I mean a lot. Bikinis and lingerie. But nothing since our blowout after the strip club. But I did find a bookmark for an escorting site that seemed old and a site to find happy ending massage parlors.

My concerns. He chose the strip club over my safety and health. Seems he has an addiction. I feel like I’ve been cheated on. We had the discussion a few times about how I don’t approve of only fans or stuff where it’s a single female. Any other porn is fine. But he’s hiding it. I found his exes used underwear after us being together for a year. He gets mad when it involves restricting sexual stuff. (Cam girls and strip clubs.) but eventually calms down. And is remorseful. We went from having sex 7 times a day. To once a day. To once a week. I put on lingerie and he fell asleep. I give blow jobs almost every single time we get intimate. I enjoy it. I’m kinky and love sex. I initiate and I have talks with him on what he’s into and what I can do to fulfill his fantasies. And I fulfill them. So I’m confused on what leads him to stray? We don’t fight unless he’s drunk. We have no issues. We are like best friends.

He told me that he would stop. And that he loves me and can’t lose me. How do I trust him. Is it possible to recover from this? Why does he do this? I just have so many questions. I feel betrayed my heart hurts. To me the biggest issue is the hiding. And needing to watch singular women.