Just need to pour my feelings out somewhere

I honestly don’t think I could ever get used to the >!breakfast, lunch, dinner!< thing ever. My mom made me do that for 4 days and all I did was cry a LOT and exercise to compensate. I felt extremely guilty, EXTREMELY. I never wanna do that ever again. Today I just had lunch and dinner, fruit, vitamins, my mom also made me have a glass of blueberry juice, and no breakfast. And that feels like too much as well. I don’t think it will ever feel enough to me unless if I eat absolutely nothing at all but for obvious reasons, that wouldn’t be very sustainable. The only reason why I still eat is because I wanna grow taller, I’m in the puberty stage so not eating food = stunted growth, so that’s why I’m still eating, ONLY to get taller. But seriously, it feels like everyday too much and has always felt that way. I don’t know what to do.