Emotional Rollercoaster.

(34f black) ….. I was sexually assaulted a few years ago and every year since i’ve gotten tested and thought I was being diligent about my status and safety.

Recently it has come to my attention that HSV 1 & 2 have to be requested and are not in a standard routine testing. I got tested last year through my PCP, who did a full CBC panel and routine STD/STI testing (which I assumed and I feel incredibly stupid for doing so) that HSV 1 & 2 is on there. The second I found out that it wasn’t, I went to get the test and it came back positive for HSV 2. I was found negative for HSV1 ,

All previous tests HIV, HEP AB&C, Syphillis and Gon/Chlam as it usually did.

I feel so embarrassed that I didn’t think to check for anything that wasn’t on there and now I have this diagnosis and could’ve affected another person.

I feel terrible. I wasn’t purposeful being neglectful and truly thought i was being diligent about my health.

Even finding out that i have this which is absolutely devastating, Part of me is counting my blessings that after an assault all I walked away with was a diagnosis of something i’ve never even had an outbreak for. Many people who are taken advantage of walk away with much worse.

I need community and support and I have no idea where to start.