AITA for Wanting My Husband to Help with the Baby?

I (24F) and husband (48M) have a 3 month old. He's really great with me and the baby, but since we moved in together he's the sole provider of the house, before the baby was born I paid for groceries and some utilities, since the baby is here I mostly pai for baby stuff (diapers, clothing, health insureace and etc.)

Yesterday I went to lunch with my mom at her friend's house (with the baby beacuse I exclusively breastfeed) and at the same time my husband went to a bar with his friend. When I arrived home at 6 PM I had thought my partner would be home already so we could the bedtime routine together. The baby was really fussy and doing the bedtime routine alone was pretty rough, although I already had done it before, it was always when my husband was working.

At 7 pm I messaged him asking what time he would be back and he said he was in his last beer. He arrived at almost 10pm and as usual I had to be up with the baby the whole night since he wakes up every 2 hours. At the next day he noticed I was mad because I think he could've been more thoughtful towards me, I felt pretty overwhelmed the night before but he said we didn't plan anything for the bedtime routine.

I thought that was a lame excuse for lack of consideration. He knows his son's routine, he knew the baby can be really fussy if he doesn't sleep at a specific time, and even if he didn't, he could've asked. So at night he asked me again what was wrong even though I told him earlier the reason I was mad and I repeated the reason. He started saying I was mad beacuse he was at a bar with his friend for the first time in 3 months and if I wanted equal parcipation we could put in a paper the division of tasks and costs.

All I wanted was the he admitted that he was careless about me and didn't give much thought in my situation. I'm 3 months pp, I exclusively breastfeed and my baby won't take a bottle, I cannot go out alone for more than 20 minutes, I do all the night wakes (my son wakes at least 4 times at night) and I change 99% of the diapers. So yes, I was upset he chose to be at a bar than home with me, beacuse different from him, I cannot chose to go out with a friend at 2pm and comeback 9pm with my partner at home looking after our baby.

Anyways, I thought was pretty evil of him to also use his position of sole provider to shut me up about helping.

So, am I the asshole for wanting my partner to help with the baby?