I don’t know what to do with my life

I grew up in a soc-iety that I don’t fit in and I had plans about moving out since I was 7yo I never liked where I live the architecture is ugly people are often impolite and aggressive everything beautiful about our cult-ure was destroyed and classified Har-am , my family promised me that they would let me go once I hit 18y but they just lied, which destroyed my mental health even more than it was, they are a vortex of negative energy in my life and consider everything I do useless laugh at my efforts because I didn’t want to live the miserable life they chose for me Once I knew they would never help I stood up for myself and gathered money to leave But even now they are making excuses and always complaining about where I want to go saying that I would be killed (as if I was ever alive) , and honestly as strong as I am hearing this constantly is so exhausting (don’t tell me move out because I can’t here as a woman you can’t rent or live alone,) I read once that the difference between rich and poor is that the rich always tell their kids that everything is easy they don’t expose them to fear or to failure in the opposite unsuccessful people always raise their kids in fear and anxiety And I’m noticing this in my life , but I have always been anticonformist and never believed what they said but my subconscious is being compromised by their negative energy and it feels like a trap right now I don’t know to what cou-ntry I should go or how I’m gonna leave