Just a rant

No one’s going to see this because I don’t know how Reddit works I literally only use the app when shit gets blocked on the website and I can’t be bothered to sign in

I’m a 15 year old girl and I’m about to go into yr11, I have never revised a day in my life and I don’t know how to start but I need to get good GCSE’s otherwise my parents will be mad at me, they paid so much money to give me tuition when I was like 10 so I could get into the good grammar school near my house and they’ve paid for more tuition because I’m shit at everything but most of all physics and English. I’m better at physics now and it’s the only subject I enjoy really, I’m getting an 8 in it which is good, I hope I can keep that up because I’m failing pretty much everything else. most of my teachers hate me because I don’t try in their classes anymore which is fair enough but I just think what’s the point. I picked history which was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made because I’m terrible at essays, my memory has never been good and it makes me angry that I can never remember anything other than the most basic facts. I hate all my choices actually because my computing teacher pisses me off and he can’t teach and my art teacher thinks I have something, like she keeps acting different to me than everyone else and that pisses me off too. Idk if u can tell but a lot of things piss me off.

I also have a girlfriend, I don’t know how either, but I don’t think she likes me very much anymore, and I don’t think I like either. I like her but it’s just different to how she feels about me, and how I like her is different to how I like other people but I don’t even know if I like people to begin with. Everytime I think of this I remember asking my friends from primary school how it feels to love someone because I never thought I was doing it right, so it’s not like it’s a new thing I’ve been thinking about and I know I just lied when she told me what it felt like and said that’s how I felt about my parents and my friends (I sound like such a wannabe edgelord fuck me). I mean like I like my friends but I don’t feel anything around them, I care about them but it’s not like how people on tv care about their friends so idk. Speaking of people from my school there’s someone in my year who I wanna rip her throat out I hate her and her fucking gaggle of friends so badly I hate the way she talks and how she acts and her hair is so dead it looks like straw but oh I’m so weird and bad no fuck you I hope you and your friends get hit by a double decker and die in agony in hospital a week later because it didn’t kill you on impact. I hate her can you tell

I think that’s it for now I was gonna do smth stupid but writing this out actually made me feel better