autistic sexuality crisis

i made this account just to make this post.

hi im 23F autistic lesbian. being a lesbian is a big part of my identity but recently ive become really close friends with my first ever guy best friend, who is bisexual if that's relevant.

we're very comfortable around each other, we're both very touchy and clingy people and we always say i love yous etc. we've basically had the conversation that, under different circumstances, we would be dating, but it's all very platonic intimacy.

recently many people have been making me second guess our relationship, asking me if im sure that it's all platonic. crazy question to ask me because as mentioned above i am autistic and have a very broad idea of friendship. for example i cuddle and kiss on the mouth with my friends, i am very comfortable with nudity if it's around people i love and generally don't really care for the "rules" of what is appropriate in a friendship. same thing goes for this guy friend of mine - the fact that it's a guy hasn't really changed my stance around this issue, i would even say it has made it more relaxed since i know i am not attracted to him like that.

this does however mean that im going through a kind of confusing phase of my life right now. we were basically hanging out together w him and our friend group 24/7 for 5 months and rn it's a long-distance friendship and i feel like a clingy girlfriend LMFAO we are very codependent. i love him a lot genuinely as a person and i think dating him could be nice because we click very well as people.

having said all that you're probably saying "oh so you're just bi and like this guy". the thing is though, i am not sure if i will ever be able to get over the physical attraction thing - im just not into men, as far as i am aware. being a lesbian and loving women is a big part of who i am and i don't think i could ever be super physically into or turned on by a guy the same way. as i said however we have made out before and we also used to cuddle a lot so i am really not sure where those boundaries between me and him lie.

my logic is that, because of my autism, i tend to get really intensely attached to specific people that are comforting to me for prolonged periods of my life and i do get kinda obsessed with them, think about them a lot, get jealous of them and want to talk to them all the time. with my girl friends in the past this has also lead to developing short lived crushes on them.

but i really can't tell if this is one of Those situations or im crushing on him. any advice or friendly conversation on the topic is appreciated :(