My friend egged on a group of strangers while they picked apart my past relationship at a dinner party. I feel betrayed - what should I do?

Edit/Note: This is a duplicate of a longer post I made earlier - just wanted to share a more concise version since the original was a bit long:

I was recently at a dinner party with my friend - she was the only person I actually knew there, though a few faces were familiar. While me and her were just chatting to ourselves, I casually mentioned something that reminded me of my ex. I said something like, “Oh, that reminds me of T.”

The host’s boyfriend overheard and asked, “Ooh, who’s T?” I replied, “Just my ex.” From there, he started asking increasingly personal questions - how we met, how long we were together, why we broke up, etc. It felt intrusive, but I answered politely.

Unfortunately, each answer just led to more probing and judgmental questions:

• “We broke up because we wanted different things.”
• “Oh, what do you mean?”
• “I wanted to get married, he didn’t.”
• “Wow, 5 years and he didn’t want marriage — why’d you stay?”

There were even questions like, “Did he make good money?” and “Was he even attractive?”

Throughout this, my friend was egging it all on. When the boyfriend asked why I stayed, she jumped in with, “Oh, that should’ve been the least of her problems!” She kept adding comments that were way too personal, exposing private parts of my past relationship,  and turning it into entertainment for a few strangers. 

Eventually, the host herself joined in and asked for a full recap. I felt forced to explain the story again, now in front of even more people. They laughed, judged, and treated it like gossip. What started as a casual mention became a 30+ minute group roast of my past relationship.

At one point, my friend even said, “Can I tell them that joke I made?” (it was a rude jab about my ex’s career/money). I had to say, “Uhh, no… maybe later.” I couldn’t believe she even asked.

My friend has been acting more and more like she has a “men are trash” attitude lately. She’s never been in a relationship, and I sometimes wonder if she takes satisfaction in seeing others’ relationships fail. Maybe it validates her views?

I don’t like bashing my exes. I don’t want to talk badly or humiliate him. I didn’t ask to be dragged back into memories of my relationship, especially not in front of strangers. I even found myself defending him just to push back against how harsh the conversation got. 

The host’s boyfriend even said, “I think your friend knows the truth about your relationship more than you do,” which felt incredibly dismissive. I’m not in denial of the bad parts of the relationship -  I just don’t feel the need to trash someone.

But anyway, my friend definitely seemed to get an ego boost from his comment - like she took pride in the idea that she understood my relationship better than I did. It was like she enjoyed being seen as the one with the “real insight,” when in reality, she was just dragging out private details I never wanted shared in the first place.

The next morning, I cried. I felt disrespected, especially by my friend. Who does that to someone they care about? She exposed personal parts of my life, encouraged others to keep interrogating me, and joined in on mocking my ex.  Like she FUELED it. 

I’m shy and anxious, and I freeze up in moments like that. I’m working on being better about setting boundaries and speaking up - but right now, I feel so hurt.

So, what should I do?

Should I confront her? HOW do I confront her? Or should I distance myself instead?

I’ve already decided to stop sharing personal stuff with her, but I’m also questioning whether this is even a real friendship.

Would really appreciate any advice or perspective.