I don't know how to try

I've done every productivity technique people suggest and they just don't work because I don't try. I give up immediately. There is no amount of work so small that it will become manageable for me. I am too apathetic and sluggish to improve as a person. I have begun to think that there is no hope for me and I may not even be human. I feel like I'm stuck in my brain screaming at my body to work and it won't listen. I can't even open up about the severity of my mental health issues to my therapist because I'm scared of how he might react and even thinking about saying anything feels like an insurmountable effort. I have had every privilege afforded to me and I have wasted it because I will never put effort into anything. I know this is really pathetic but I just wanted to get it off my chest.