Feeling bad after giving speech at friend’s wedding.

Hi ladies. Hoping for a bit of commiseration because I’m feeling blue and just can’t seem to shake it.

Over the weekend I gave a speech at a friends wedding. She and her groom didn’t have a bridal party, but she did ask me to come over and spend the morning of getting ready with her, plus give a speech.

She and I have been friends for a long time, about 20 years. When she asked me to make a speech I went all out trying to think of funny but loving anecdotes, write a tight, warm, sweet, entertaining speech, rehearsed it over and over so I could deliver it without notes - and generally went all out. I think I ended up with a pretty good speech. I was really nervous on the night but I got through it and got a few compliments from other guests afterwards.

I suppose I’m a bit hurt because my friend, the bride, basically didn’t acknowledge it afterwards? She didn’t thank me. She mentioned something about me looking confident up there but no words of thanks or any other indication that she was otherwise happy with the speech etc. I don’t need lots of praise and compliments but I thought she would at least thank me?

I guess I’m also hurt because she didn’t make any time with me at the wedding. I understand it’s a wedding and she needs to mingle and spend time with everyone but I saw her sitting down for extended periods with lots of other people but I only got to speak to her in little stolen grabs here and there.

Overall it’s bringing up feelings I’ve had in the past where friends are happy for me to do things for them - make speeches, support them, organise parties etc - because I’m diligent and because I care… but don’t actually want to do the actual aspects of friendship with me, like spending time?

I really do hope this doesn’t make me sound like a self absorbed twat. I know it was her literal wedding. Sometimes I don’t know what is normal and what’s being distorted through my lens of being ND and other social trauma.

Thank you if you got this far. I’d love to hear if anyone else has felt similar things.