Breaking down over guilt. I hate hurting my partner with my anxiety

I had an absolute breakdown last night simply over feeling so go guilty for the emotional burden I have caused my partner after talking about a trigger to my partner. I don’t yell at my partner, or call him names or anything abusive, but I am so anxious all the time during my luteal phase. My partner was so emotionally drained he couldn’t even really expect him to help support me during my panic attack and I felt so alone.

All my triggers pertain to my fiance, and something as small as him telling me he’s trying to have a quiet morning will make me feel like there is something wrong or he’s upset with me. He’s been open to me about how me getting triggered all the time during luteal is an emotionally frustrating and emotionally exhausting. But I genuinely have been trying so so hard to do better; going to therapy the last couple months, trying to pick my hobbies back up, calling friends more. So I feel like I’ve been regulating better. When I got triggered yesterday I forced myself to take a full 6 hours to myself to calm down and regulate through a hike and thrifting.

I love him so much and in my heart I trust him with my life. it’s frustrating that my luteal phase will convince me something is wrong 😭. Now he feels like I don’t fully trust him and it’s emotionally exhausting for him. He said he feels like he has to watch what he says because of my emotional triggers that will lead to anxiety. It makes me so sad he feels like he can’t be himself at all times. Even more frustrating the weeks I’m not on my luteal phase tend to be great and just fine.

We did have a full conversation before my breakdown that we both spend too much time together as we both work from home remotely (with 2 other people in the house) and don’t often leave the house so our alone time is very much lacking (which I’m trying super hard to work on) but he said that he needs to do a better job on his side.. So mixing my PMDD when neither of us fully even have a full cup seems to be a recipe for destruction.

I already struggle with moral OCD and feeling like a burden so the guilt of recognising the emotional burden on him his eating me alive I fear. I told him that I was gonna do everything I could to get better because I can’t take it anymore emotionally on my end and for also his sake. I feel like such a fucking bad partner. I’m so scared I’m gonna fuck this up. So I’ve started taking supplements linked to hormones, ashwaganda, and ovasitol to help my PCOS as well. I hope that he can see I’m trying and I hope to fucking god I don’t fee this way anymore. How do you deal with the guilt for your partner ?