Ah, To Be A Social Moron, And Never, EVER, Get It Right

As a child/teen, my mother told me that no one ever wanted me around.

As a pre-teen/teen, I was told (among lots of other things) that I "come on like gang busters."

A close relative that I wasn't particularly close to, said that when I speak (nobody else had such a distinction), it is as though all the oxygen is being sucked out of the room, and no one can breathe...

Someone else told me that folks will leave a room just to get the he'll away from me❗

Oh, gee, do we detect a pattern here❓ Uh, DUH❗

SO, I struggled to temper the...approach, and be less of a bomb going off, something, anything else❗

My confession: I still suck, one way or another. Just keep quiet, or hide in the corner; WOE BETIDE EVERYONE ELSE if I am stupid enough TO HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY; PLEASE don't ask me questions...

And folks ask WHY I steer clear, and prefer being alone a majority of the time❗Well, hell, let's not get the atom bomb detonated, shall we❓ Certainly, STFU applies, doesn't it❓

NO, I DO NOT WANT TO VISIT THE IN-LAWS❗ Are you TRYING to torture your family❓❓❓

NO, I would really rather stay home/stay away, as I am in NO MOOD for damage control if dumbshit me opens mouth and exposes the room with nuclear fall-out. I said something nice, right❓Gave a compliment, thanked someone for a kindness, etcetera. It...didn't land, OBVIOUSLY❗👀

Go to Bible study, and assume everyone knows what chapter and verse I am referring to. WHAT❓❓❓ Where's THAT❓ Oh, this... (cringe) why is everyone acting like it suddenly appeared there because I said it. Oh, trust me, I DID NOT WRITE IT❗❗❗❗

why do I bother❓ I am some narcissist, right❓