I have doubts and need help.

I recently stopped being a Christian because I realized that the site was religion, not truth. Books and people who talk about the topic of deconstruction woke me up. I'll just summarize that the book has been heavily manipulated over time and Jesus was not the person expected nor the one portrayed.

I have tried to return to the truth but Christianity has antagonized me this path and everything has become doubtful and confusing to me. How do we know that everything is energy, there is no separation and we are the eternal being?

How do we know this isn't something out of our imagination? I would like to hear verifiable sources, books, etc., so I can realign myself with the truth.