TW Felt like I wanted it

I was thinking and then out of the blue I got this thought that was like “I want to be a rpist” and for like 30 seconds it felt like I agreed with it wholeheartedly, like I could feel it in my heart, I don’t exactly know what went on in my mind at that moment, but I think I said no? I can’t remember, and I don’t have any anxiety or disgust about it, and it does scare me because I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially children but it honestly felt like I agreed with the thought.