So I Played stupid games and won stupid prizes..

Feel free to mock me because I probably deserve it and I have no excuses lol. So my current situation is that I have been successfully sober from smoking the devil's crystals (meth) for about 2 months and honestly thriving overall. Once I got past the crippling exhaustion phase of it I actually felt really good and glad I finally decided to stop completely. It feels pretty great to know that I can in fact live without it and aside from wanting to use prescription stimulants to self treat my ADHD while balls deep in uni assignments I don't have a desire to use again.

But here is where I fucked up and I absolutely knew better which is what annoys me so much. I work a nightlife job where I am regularly find myself around cocaine and I'm Highly encouraged/ expected to partake in it in order to maintain a party environment which results in more money and longer bookings. I know it sounds like a bullshit excuse but unfortunately it's common place in my line of work and the clients are much more willing to spend money if you make them feel comfortable doing it if that makes sense. Now I've never had a problem with cocaine and I've never been addicted to it, more of a habitual user because people offered him all the time. So here is The Fuck up . I stupidly decided to partake in the forbidden table sniffing and when I got home, I took a urine drug out of curiosity and turned up positive for amphetamines and meth. Which totally checks out because I feel like garbage right now and had to take a Valium just to not be frazzled. I'm pissed at myself but also know better and I'm aware that a crazy amount of cocaine is Cut with stimulants so I definitely should have seen that coming. But nonetheless, I feel awful and I have no idea how I used to do this constantly. It's fun for a very short amount of time and feels similar to cocaine but the hot garbage feeling afterwards makes me regret all of my life choices and feel so fucked..
basically, just wanted to get this off my chest because I'm going through it rn and I didn't even ask for this 😂 if you are sober from amphetamines and still want to do Coke be aware because this is way more common than it should be. Sincerely a fucking idiot who fucked around and did indeed find out.