Searching For The Perfect Story

I'm trying to write a story, and I have no

idea where to start. The stories are

definitely in there, but they must be stuck

or something. So, I came up with an idea:

I'll go in and try to find them myself!

Now, how do I get in there? Maybe through

my mouth? Let's give it a shot, eh!? I reach

in all the way to the back of my throat. I

can only fit a couple of fingers in there at a

time, but there's a back to it. I found a path

up and a path down. Now my knuckles are

in the way. Hmm, what to do, what to do... I

know! I'll just snap those fingers off! And

realistically, I don't even need over half my

hand... let's cut it in two! Hot dog style, of

course. There! Now I can reach in and

explore a little further. Up feels weird; I

definitely don't like that. Let's go down

instead... whoops, I threw up! That's gross.

I got throw-up in my hand wound... or hand

wound in my throw-up, whichever you

prefer. Well, this isn’t going as planned. I’m

going to have to try another way. Aha!! My

ears! I'll go in through there! My finger

doesn’t quite fit in all the way, and there’s

something there blocking the path... I

know! A toothpick should skewer and

remove the blockage! Here we go! Nice

and easy! And I threw up again. How many

spew buttons are on this thing!? Last but

not least, let’s try the nose! That’s gotta go

straight up in there! Problem, though: my

fingers are too wide! I can use a paperclip,

maybe! I’ll unbend it and see what I can

find with that! I reach on up there, and...

ahhhchoooo! Ow! I think I poked my brain

with it a little too hard! But hey, I've got the

perfect idea for a story!!! Ready to hear it?!

Poltergeist unicorns with banana horns in

a biker gang! Done! I’m pretty tired from

losing all the hand wound juice. I’ll attack

this story in the morning.

Thud