i'm struggling a lot and i'm alone.

the weight of my depression and anxiety have weighed on my boyfriend a lot and we ended up in an argument. he told me i should argue with someone else. but i don't really have anyone else to talk to. i don't really have much friends to begin with. the close friends i used to have are gone from my life. i probably won't have friends like how close i was with my old ones again. i honestly feel so lonely and lost. i sat in the shower for the first time even though i usually stand in the shower. i just cried a lot in the shower. i dissociated for the entirety of yesterday and today. i don't feel like i'm physically in touch in with myself anymore. my boyfriend texted me a day later about how he felt about my depression affected him, so i ended up ghosting him again. i don't really know what to do.