Having a relationship crisis. Anyone knows if it’s possible to recover from this? (30F & 30M)

Me (30F) and my boyfriend (30M) are having a crisis period. We dating on & off for 2+ years but we were strong and committed for last year. I already had told him that I didn’t accept him liking other girls thirst traps on IG and when i found out he was still doing it I went to search on tinder and he was there. We are long distance for a few months but he told me he was using it on and off even when he was in our home country. When I found out I sent him prints and blocked him everywhere. After a few days I wanted some closure and went to talk with him. He didn’t justify or apologized his behavior, but told me he never met anyone and did it to boost his ego and for validation. I do believe that he loves me but this was just too much because not only he had those behaviors but he also lied to me in the past about it and admitted it to me now. We talked it through and he says he doesn’t want to be this way, that he’s imature, insecure, lustuful and wasn’t being capable of letting go from old single life past habits. He told his closest friends and family what he had done. He is starting therapy this week, He's reassuring me every time I get triggered, calmly, and even when I call him during the night. Today I went to unblock him on Instagram, and saw that he deleted his personal account (where all the girls were) and didn't tell me anything about it. I’m now going to see him in two weeks. I already had a visit booked, and I decided that I’m still going. Besides having work booked there I also want to see how I feel around him, if I can still trust him and look at him. I told him the visit doesn’t mean that we are back to normal and he told me he totally gets it and accepts whatever I feel it’s better for me but that he’s really committed to get out of the loop he was in and change himself, for him, for me, for his family and our relationship. Does anyone worked out anything like this ? I’m not very trusting of men in general, if I look at his actions now everything is in its right path but I still get triggered a lot. Is it possible for men to change ? Any successful stories or advice ? Am I being to chill about it ?

Posted Sep 2, 2025, 3:22 PM UTC

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