feel so lonely and isolated but i dont want to physically talk to or be around people, but need to talk 😭😞

Background: Late 30s F. Ageing single mother (66YO). Golden child younger brother. Brother seems to be her FP.

From the way she recounted stories of me as a child of age around 1-4years old, it seems she already saw me as BAD from that age. Said i smacked her ex mother-in-law on the cheek, so she (mum) smacked me back. Grandma however, laughed when i did that. Mum recounted with indignation and 'shock'. Always complaining about any and everything. Sides with anyone who's not me.

Lots of other stories. She said i am BPD (i saw her read a book on being a BPD carer), but i am not BPD. She is. My symptoms do not match BPD. She projects a lot.

I am very tired. 😞

Isolated myself because of all the people around me. She poisoned them against me. Brother is against me too. I feel safest with my toys.

Tells people i abuse her, i hate her, but has no problem telling me to buy her this and that (which i do), and taking my things. Keeps needing me over to have meals with her. Feels abandoned when i refuse ("my daughter hates me/doesnt love me") No self reflection whatsoever.

When i set a boundary, eg leaving without reasoning with her once she starts a fight, the next day i have relatives and her friends telling me i need to love her more.

Just needed to vent a bit and some support maybe?

Meow!

A soft, silent nap - In a warm and sunny spot. The world passes by.