My (35f) boyfriend (39m) lacks empathy.

I (35f) have been dating my boyfriend (39m) for almost a year and a half. We have known each other for about 5 years (we met at work) but weren’t ever anything because we were both in relationships. Fast forward to now, he’s been separated from his stbxw for 2 years before we started dating. The divorce has been a long exhausting process as she’s very high conflict and they have 3 kids together 6, 7, and 10. The kids are great, I love them but have no kids of my own and this is my first time dating someone with kids. The problem is that my boyfriend is super nice to me and then out of nowhere he will say something cruel which is totally out of left field. For example, I’m a nurse and I work 3 12s a week. This past weekend we took the kids to cedar point for one for one of their birthdays and I worked the two days leading up to it. I was exhausted but still powering through, I mentioned how I was proud of myself for not having anxiety (I have gad and ocd and it’s been flaring for the past 3 months due to the prolonged stress of his divorce and ex) even though I was exhausted as exhaustion usually will give me a panic attack. He just said “do all nurses have this same issue”? But like in a way to insinuate that other nurses aren’t exhausted like me. He does this a lot. He doesn’t understand my mental health issues even though he himself has adhd and I believe either bpd or bipolar as he is up and down a lot. But ultimately he will say rude things randomly like “oh I guess nurses can’t have kids then” if I’m too tired and suggest he takes the kids away for a couple of hours. If I say something wrong or am ever wrong about anything in casual conversation he has to correct me. He loves to argue and make me feel stupid I don’t get it. But then on the flip side he’s super lovey dovey and sweet. I can’t wrap my brain around it or why he is like this. I told him he needs therapy and he’s agreed to go but I’m just so resentful at this point that I’ve given up so much of my peace for him that it’s hard for me to even stand it. He doesn’t apologize to me anymore, he says “you’re just going to say I shouldn’t have don’t it in the first place”. He wants to keep moving forward and buy a house together and get married next year but idk if I can do it. I love him and want this to work but the lack of emotional support and empathy are deal breakers for me.