Revelation 2: 4-5 (In need of advice)

Before this gets flagged, this isn’t about scrupulosity and I am recieiving treatment and am getting better, I need advice on my relationship with God. When I first began truly devoting my life to God and taking Catholicism seriously (cradle Catholic) I had this deep love for God. I made many mistakes but I spent so much time praying and reading the Bible, because I wanted to learn, and there were so many things I didn’t know. Then, I began to struggle with severe (heavy bold and underline) scrupulosity, which, in a way, brought me closer to God in the moment, because I felt so lost in life that he was the only true constant I knew I had, but it completely destroyed my view of the Church and God, and so I pretty had to try and start over, which has not been easy. I had all the knowledge about the rules of all the sins and things that I convinced myself I would go to Hell for, but I didn’t have any relationship with God to balance that. Over time I stopped reading the Bible and praying with as much devotion, my heart was still there but my mind just wasn’t. It is so difficult now because I would do anything to get back to how I was in terms of my relationship with God, but after everything that has happend, on top of having a very chaotic and stressful life with a lot of problems to begin with, I have no clue how to do that. I feel so distracted by school and so exhausted, I just want to escape all of these distractions and focus on God. For a long time I wanted to quit school and pursue a monastic life, and if I didn’t do badly want to be a father I would most likely go through with that plan. About the verse on top, it just really hits close to home and it feels like it’s about me. If it helps, I am a 16 year old male and this whole journey has taken place over the last two years or so, but I’ve been pretty well versed in Catholicism my whole life. Sorry for the long read, for those who may be confused, my real question is, how can I get back the zeal I had for the faith and pursuit of it that I once had?