Seeking support as a family member

My brother has psychosis (M34), diagnosed after a few visits to a psychiatrist. He has been struggling for years, experiencing episodes where he believes someone is watching him, refuses to eat because he thinks food is poisoned, and uses alcohol and weed. When he drinks, he sometimes becomes physically aggressive toward me and my parents.

He refuses help, insists doctors are liars, and in our country hospitalization isn’t possible unless he commits a crime. My family often hides from me how physical he becomes.

3 days ago, he was hospitalized after refusing to eat and ending up in the ER. Now at home, he is weak, on treatment, barely eating baby food, still depressed, and speaking about death.

I feel nothing but anger toward him. I know it’s selfish, but after years of trying,supporting him, offering therapy, treatment, rehab,I feel helpless. My anger covers the part of me that still wants to help.

I’ve been in therapy for four years, and my therapist encourages me to distance myself from my family, but I can’t just abandon my brother. Still, whatever I do never feels enough.

I just want him to have a life.