What to do with doubts? (demotivating)

I’ve been trying for over 3 years now, and i maybe minishifted once, but i still don’t know if it wasn’t just a dream. Shortly, I was in a sleep paralysis, told myself i’m going to shift to Hogwarts, even when i didn’t even have a script for it. I heard intermittent wind noise, like when you're driving fast on the highway with the window open, and felt like i was going through something like layers of energy. Then for a few seconds, i saw a compartment on a train like the Hogwarts Express, but my vision was slightly blacking out and it was so fast that i couldn’t do a reality check or focus on if it felt real or not. That was 2 years ago. Since then, something simillar happened only a few times and not to that big extent, so i sometimes think if it wasn’t just hallucinations from sleep paralysis or dreams. I never saw anything in those experiences after the one with the train, only for example heard someone saying something i couldn’t understand or heard waves like on a beach. I also heard a lot of very loud noises in sleep paralysis, and sometimes even the intermittent wind. It always happened only in sleep paralysis, so thats why i’m not sure if it had anything to do with shifting.

Was I close to shifting or were those only hallucinations or dreams? Can someone, like, promise and swear it is real? I know its dumb.

I dont really know what to do anymore. Every time i read someones shifting story, I automaticaly think they are lying, to be interesting or feeding an inside joke, and then i get sad. Because I can never know if it’s real until I experience it myself, and it honestly sounds too good to be real. I even get sad during shifting attempts because my mind just comes up with thoughts that it’s not real, and all the attempts, energy and time i put into it weren’t worth it and that i will never see my friends from my dr.

How do i get out of this mindset? What to do? Is it even real?