Is a pessimistic Christian and one that has a lack of faith the same thing

Like I think the Lord provides but I have a hard time believing God just has a great future for you. Like some of the most faithful people literally suffered their entire lives and died in a trench, or there’s tons of Christians in foreign countries who live in misery. Of course there’s the eternal reward though.

Like is it demonic for me to think that you might just have a somewhat crappy worldly life and then you basically just gotta endure till you die or is that alright y’know