Update and help assessing her interest level
I've posted about this woman previously. I'm on my 6th read now. Before I was over the moon about her but as I've gotten to know her, I've found there are things I don't necessarily like about her. That said, I still very much like her and want to keep seeing her. I've been dating others or trying in the mean time, but for now this is the best thing I have going on and this is the first time I've gotten serious with the material and had a good chance to apply and practice it. So I'm kind of thinking about it aloud and wondering how others think this is going.
Background: We met in a social for a community group we're in and she was very flirtatious with me, so I asked her out and she agreed. I did something kinda dopey early and she canceled our first date (which is what spurred me to get serious about 3% man).
I backed off completely and after about 3 weeks of not talking, she randomly reached out, which resulted in her asking me out for drinks. It was effortless from the beginning and I think we both had a lot of fun. I kissed her at the end and she kissed me back.
I asked her out a week later and we went out again. It went even better than the first and she was quite flirty, even a little handsy, and we made out at the end. Since this date she has initiated our contact almost 100% of the time.
This is where things get a little dicey though. She left town the next week, so we couldn't get back together. The week after that I had tickets to something awesome that she'd enjoy so I asked if she wanted to go but she had prior plans so I said "let's plan for another time" and she agreed. The next week she reached out and after a couple of texts, I asked when she'd be available.
A couple of days later she responded and said we'd probably have to do the following week because her friend was in town and staying with her. Before I got around to responding she double-texted me asking if I got her text, and then inviting me to a BBQ that weekend. I declined the BBQ invite and asked when she'd be free next week.
The next day she suggested a specific day for the following week. This was our last date, last week. Again, we had great energy in person. We ate and then walked to a bar. On the way to the bar she put her arm around me so I reciprocated. As we crossed the street she let go but minutes later I noticed she was right up against me so I grabbed her hand. We held hands and then I looked into her eyes and we kissed.
She was all over me the rest of the night, like she wouldn't stop kissing me. At some point she started randomly talking about sex. Like talking about how much she masturbates (which is apparently a lot) and asking me questions about my sexual past and preferences. Her mood was just very playful and she was talking about sex in a playful way, and I was really enjoying it.
So of course I asked if she wanted to leave. She smiled and said something like, "I don't have the energy for that tonight. Maybe we can do that next time!"
I dropped the issue. I walked her to the car and we had a really intense makeout session. Perhaps I should have tried again then to get sexual, but honestly I was really tired myself (work in the morning) and I figured at least I had advanced the ball.
She sent me some silly good night texts and then after a few days of no contact, she reached out again this past Sunday, so I told her I'd love to see her some time this week. This morning, two days later, I got a message saying, "I'd love to hang out but I think this week may be too full! Bla bla bla bla bla. I'll let you know if anything changes though!" I basically told her not to worry about it and let me know.
So what is going on here? I think I know how to play it from here but I'm open to suggestions. I suppose I just leave her alone and ask her out one more time next week if she doesn't reach out to me first (which I'm pretty sure she will).
But how do I analyze the interest of someone who always initiates, ultimately makes dates and is great fun on dates, yet also doesn't treat me as a priority? Sometimes she takes well over 24 hours to respond. And why would she bring up sex then pass up the opportunity to go home with me? Should I have kept trying?
Thanks for reading and for your thoughts.
Posted Sep 2, 2025, 3:25 PM UTC