Hi everyone,

I recently wrote a piece called Coming Clean at Work about what happened when I told my team I am AuDHD.

The reactions split sharply:

• Some didn’t believe me at all (“you don’t look autistic”).
• Others believed me but quietly moved me out of the way (“maybe you shadow this one”).
• Both routes led to less trust, fewer opportunities, and smaller work.

The strangest part? The same behaviours got relabelled. Before disclosure, asking direct questions was “thorough.” After disclosure, it was “rigid.” Nothing about me changed—only the lens through which I was viewed.

There were bright spots though. One manager asked what a good vs rough day looked like, and we agreed on small, practical adjustments (agenda beforehand, action items afterward, quiet seat, deep work time). The result? The team moved faster without needing a big initiative or endless meetings.

What I want people to take away:

• Judge me by the quality of my analysis, the value I deliver, and the deadlines I meet—not my “style.”
• If you’re sceptical, ask yourself what proof would actually change your mind.
• If you want to support, don’t quietly take work away—just ask what would help.

Reasonable adjustments help everyone, not just neurodivergent people. Written follow-ups help those with dyslexia, quiet rooms help with migraines, flexible hours help carers, and remote options help parents. Building for variance lifts the whole team.

I’d love to hear from other autistic women:

• Have you disclosed at work, and how did people respond?
• Did their perception of you shift, even when your behaviour didn’t?
• What small adjustments made the biggest difference for you?

Here’s my full piece if you’d like to read it

Solidarity to anyone navigating this balance of being seen without being sidelined. 💜

https://medium.com/@atypally/coming-clean-at-work-d299f1b81617?sk=5522235f0e6c108d7f9f23541a745585