Age Range

Me: 30M, married for 6 years and together 11. I am fit, conventionally attractive, well-spoken, high stamina. I'm not perfect by any means, but I don't see myself as a slouch either.

Originally I was seeking women around my age who were in similar situations. My thoughts were that we would have similar situations, energy levels, interests, etc.. As time went on, I realized how uncertain the women I was talking to were. Many of them hadn't gotten to a point where action was a necessary step-- it was still just a fantasy, and once that fantasy gets real it can get scary. I also found that there wasn't much consistency in what people were looking for. I had women seeking rescue from a white knight, others seeking purely conversation, and others seeking financial compensation (not my place to judge, just not what I'm looking for).

So I adjusted my search parameters to looking for older women. Not like 70s, but around 40-55. My thought there was that there was more likely to be confidence in decision-making abilities, what they're looking for, what they like and don't like. In this age bracket, I discovered that my age became an issue. I would connect with someone, have lots more in common than you might think given the age discrepancy, sense physical chemistry from both sides, and then finally be told that I'm just too young. Either I remind them of a young relative, or they just don't think the age gap will work.

It's frustrating feeling like you're more emotionally mature than women your age, while being too immature for older women. I'm not coming down on either side. I get that everyone is ultimately here being selfish and seeking their perfect match, and I'm not disillusioned into thinking I am that match for every woman I talk to. I'm not even sure I'm looking for advice, so much as just getting this off my chest.

Edit to add: I do appreciate the feedback-- posting like this feels akin to whining, but it's also a good way to identify things I could be lacking. I will take all constructive criticism to "the lab".