I hate myself

I just hate myself. I am pretty, but I'm not the prettiest. I'm not skinny, but I'm not fat. I'm weird, but not in a cute way, but also not in a gross way. I wanna kill myself, but I don't at the same time. I have 2 friends in total. (Friends= people who talk to me almost every day) I'm emo, but I'm also just chill. I have no talent, I'm not AMAZING at anything I've ever done. I'm decent at very few things. I'm kinda funny, but also not funny at all. I'm quiet, but I'm loud ASF if I like you enough. Nobody loves me. And the guys that wanna date me have major mental issues (suicidal, clinically insane, abusive, disorders, ect.)