I literally have no life. I’m such a loser.

Hi, I had an ex-boyfriend, he broke up with me, he told me that he wasn't emotionally fit for a relationship and that he didn't like men anymore, but like a week ago he started liking a guy, and now he acts as if he had never been so in love before, he and I remained friends, so all I could do was watch and cry, yesterday I don't know what came over me, I didn't think about what I said, and I made him feel bad, I made him feel bad for the simple fact of loving, and I brought him memories that he probably didn't want to remember, now I disgust him, he doesn't want me to talk to him anymore, He just wanted to be my friend, but I ruined everything, and even though I've apologized many times, I feel like it's not enough, but I don't know what is. I hate myself. I'm a horrible person.