DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GROW UP TOO???...

I get Infantilized by EVERYONE.

My dad forces me to spend time with him, like he's always keeping track of "how long it's been."

I think it's because on some level he's aware of how much he fucked up. But instead of giving me as much fucking space as I want, he'll take vacation days off of work and start calling me incessantly. He already did for the week of my birthday coming up. And it feels icky.

It's like they think they're rockstars or something. Like No yall I'm actually good. I mean yall did kinda ruin like my whole fucking life already and gave me cptsd and every severe kind of anxiety a person could have in life..

I'm turning 28. And it feels pitiful. This was always a problem but I was the only one that had to come back home so it's just me having to navigate our idiot parents still even at this age. And they just haven't a clue even after literal years. He's always calling me. And I'm always having to say No. And instead I'd wish they'd actually do something that I'd actually appreciate. Like either apologize or give me money honestly.

And the sad truth is I rather be doing NORMAL "Adult" Things like celebrating with friends, and having sex with my partner. And that's about it. And Why don't i get to do that??? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ They messed me and my whole life up so much that i currently have NEITHER. They had to Hog Everything for themselves so that i didn't get Any.. Now im stuck being this old pitiful, embarrassing prisoner.

Do they not know that We were supposed to grow up too, just like them?? Or they just didn't want us to? It pisses me off because I didn't choose this. No one did. No one does.

WAS I SUPPOSED TO STAY FUCKING SEVEN YEARS OLD FOREVER? ☹️ born just to die basically. That's what it feels like sometimes. I hate that my life has been so bad that I get to say terrible things like that. But really, what even is this??

And on the other hand I'm really pissed off with my narcissist parents. They made it so fucking hard for me, like impossible hard to the point where i actually promised to unalive myself if my marriage didn't work out. Which it didn't. They really fucking ruined everything for me. And it's abit of a joke to them sometimes too, how much they Hold me back and control me. The GC even laughs, poor mini plant. 😆😆😆😆😆

Yeah, poor mini plant because my mom's fucking nuts and SUPER controlling and my parents are fucking dumb.. yea poor mini plant. You try navigating life with so much difficulty and acquired neurodivergence and people trying to literally control your Every Breath and see how YOU like it.

I shouldn't have just been Abused and Abandoned. Severely Neglected to the point where I'm just barely fucking finding myself. At My Age. So much of my life just wasted. The future still so uncertain. Everything rushed. Everything sucks. This sucks.

It's tragic. I know that sounds kind of dramatic, but it is.. tragic. My life was just made into this half assed joke. And I'm actually traumatized because of it. My life's a joke. And I've lived and enjoyed None of it. The last time I actually laughed I was a young teen hanging out and being stupid with cousins. And that was a long, long time ago.

Sometimes I don't feel like I'm enough. I'm still trying so hard just for me to have something too even After everything that they did. Even after everything that they ruined. But I also feel so stupid. And trapped. And it feels pointless alot of the time. My only sister betrayed me horrifically and now I'm all alone because everyone joined the bully's side. The narcissist's side. Everyone got into the party and doesn't care that i'm stuck outside and all by myself.

And everything feels pointless. How could another tragedy not be what's next on the list? I wish I got to live a different life. This one is so pitiful and pointless. And somehow really embarrassing too. As if it wasn't bad enough as it is..