I am losing my sense of self

Anyways, this was an excuse to rant. Anyone else feel like an NPC? Like, you don't really know what you like or dislike and feel like a fake fan? For example, when I was a kid (around 10-12), I was REALLY into reading, history, religious history, and ESPECIALLY cartography & reading. I was a reading nut, so much so my mom had to ban me from reading because I was failing school because all I would do was read. Geronimo Stilton, Big Nate, Fablehaven, Land of Stories (Man I love this series). In all of my schools except high school, my librarians would LOVE me because I would just constantly sneak in there. I was even in a book club in 5th grade.

Then I got into writing, and I lost my mind. All I would do was write and work on stories, with dreams of publishing with Scholastic or Little Brown Books. Music was an especially big part of who I am, listening to my favourite song just gives me euphoria not even busting a nut can give me. During my 7th -8th grade year, I didn't really have friends so I would hang out at the library and work on my stories. I'd get lost my in head, my world, my characters I created.

That's where it started for me.

My home life was rough as an immigrant child. I do not blame my mother nor anyone else, but because she was constantly stressed out, there was a lot of lashing out and screaming (mostly my fault), and that led to me being my fantasy world a lot. It was my escape and lifeline. Mom stressed and yelling again? Simply enter the world of my own. Stressed out because of school? Simply reel into your head and watch your characters conversate or fight an epic battle. This has continued my entire life, and I don't intend on stopping, not that I can stop at all.

I've lost all sense of self and who I am, I simply just begin to see myself as a universe itself, a place where all my stories, characters & concepts live. And you know what? I don't see anything wrong with it, sure I barely eat and stay up all night working on manuscripts, character backgrounds, worldbuilding and I am losing my sense of self, but it is so worth it. I've built an entire universe by myself, timelines, paradoxes, people & cultures, I am a GOD. Why would I stop this?

Is this bad? Or am I just overcomplicating things because I am 18 yr old? I don't know