I found out how to get my mother to minimally reach out to me

It’s this: go through a dangerous crisis (domestic violence) and subsequently ask her for help.

It’s amazing how she is so good at giving me space now. She likes to call me 3 times a day, now it’s once every two weeks!

She refuses to talk to me about it too. I know she is scared shitless to have to deal with anything remotely serious that doesn’t center her.

Yesterday was the first time I’d spoken to her in a long while and not once did she ask about it. She is pretending like everything is normal, even asking about holiday plans since she might visit me, as though she is unaware I am planning a getaway and will most certainly not have the physical, emotional, or mental space to handle her.

I cannot imagine being such failure as a mother. If my child told me they were in the danger I was/am in, I would literally drop everything, drive to them, and not leave till I knew they were safe.

I definitely did not expect real parenting from her and yet I am still so hurt at how much she cannot bring herself to pretend to care.