Hey self..

The past days have been very heavy. I was losing sleep and I try to move through the days with strength, but some nights, it feels like the weight of everything is pressing down on me. Life has not been gentle lately (or should I say ever since?) and there are times na all I want is to disappear and to rest from the battles no one else sees.

I’ve always been independent, and the one to always take care of others. I listen, I comfort, I hold space when someone needs it. I go extra mile for everyone.. But when it’s me who breaks, when it’s me who needs a hand to hold, the world grows quiet. Napapa ask nalang ako, who takes care of me when I can no longer carry it alone?

My family doesn’t even seem to check on me. Naaalala lang ako kapag merong kailangan. I have no one who checks if I’m eating well, no one who asks how I’m holding up, no one who notices when my smile no longer reaches my eyes..

No one sees me, and I’ve grown used to hiding all the pain I’m carrying. I’m trying to show up everyday, because if I don’t hold myself together, no one else will. I’ll just keep the faith, I know someday I’ll look back and realize I survived even when no one was there to hold me up.