This disorder destroyed me

I’ve been struggling with social anxiety and agoraphobia, and I’ve been stuck in my room for almost three months now. This feels like the worst it’s ever been. Every day, I blame myself more and more. I’m drowning in self-hatred, starving myself, trapped in a cycle I can’t escape. I punish myself by sh when I binge eating. Sometimes I wonder—will it ever change? Will I ever be able to turn my life around? I’m only 19, but I already feel so lost. I dropped out, I have no skills, I’m stuck in poverty, and I’m terrified of facing people again. The thought of going back to school scares me—I’m afraid of being bullied again, of being reminded that I don’t belong anywhere. I can't find a job, just thinking about it terrifies me. Everything is just making me anxious. I’m exhausted. Tired of living, tired of waking up every day just to fight the same battles in my head. All I want is for my mind to finally be quiet. I want this battlefield to end.