Coping with guilt and fear about second labour

Has anyone else felt guilty and fearful of labour second time around? I'm so scared of something happening to me that would mean that I was no longer around for my daughter and husband.

I am currently 40+1 so labour is imminent. I had a tough labour with my first, I haemorrhaged which caused me to lose consciousness. As I was doing so, I distinctively remember thinking "is this it?". I believe I'm experiencing PTSD that is causing this fear and guilt. Currently engaging in talking therapies but I don't have an appointment now for another 2-3 weeks.

Wondering if anyone else has experienced these feelings and have management suggestions? I'm trying grounding techniques and thinking positively but some days (like today) are pretty tough. I've just finished writing letters to my daughter, husband and newborn incase anything does happen. I was hoping it'd make me feel better but it's just upset me more and made it feel more real.