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After get into university I filed myself like it all going such as I was wanting it was past two years of my life for summary I have been teaching nine years of school  and I was really good in math and i think this is the main point why I didn’t ruined my life like other people in this city do because in the end of the nine years of school you should write an exam before graduate your school so I were should be pass two exams first was the math in which i were very sure that i will pass it and  the language exam in my native language where you should pass a lot of rules of language and so on which i hard can pass thought because I just dont wasnt getting it I mean i harmed my head when i was 3 years old and  all my  thoughtfull life i was just not getting how my language should sound to understand rules i mean i dont hear the punctuation and other staff i also not getting the music and all music sounds like a noise for me so you understand how anxious i was feeling myself before this exam and how calm  i was filling myself befor the  math exam after that I was on summer break with my best friend and We were seating together on the river bank and was thinking how cool it was that school is ended not because we were hating it but my friend has  sociophobia disease so he hate social interaction in common and i hate the steress feling so I was wanting to not experience this on second time and was  thinking that my problem was not paing attention to the classes so I was like oh in collage  (I was going to the collage because I was trying to escape the stress which i gonna would be feeling all two years before the exam which need to step into university) so I was thinking I shall do something all four years because time will pass quikly like the school time too and I want to have something before time pass so i was looking on trading I was 16 so it was illegal to trade but i was just studying into demo just looking what it is and also I was learning languages and programming and was pay attention on the classes so I was hopping that my GPA gonna be 3.0 and I  will pass exams without the stress so four years passed and my GPA was not a 3.0 it was 4.2 I developed more than I was expecting I read more than thousand books and it should count that I was too picky to the books and was reading only what I was interested in (I was like philosophy )  I was really thinking what  i dont want feel while i be dying because it was too hard think what i want to do and i reliced  i dont want have empty life so i was thinking hm i should think why what i would want run away what bad happened with people and that  why i was reading more than 1000 books so i studied financial managing and other useful staff and I was like ohhhh I really like thinking and I really like critical thinking to find blind spot in people thinking and it was like a dream and then I was thinking all the humanity century was happening in 24 hours life so what should be my ideal day that will provide my next day so i can live my ideal day and my day was simple it shouldn't be a pointless job for trading my time and it shouldnt be a non profit trade which not gonna give me something valuable because money shouldnt be my goal #1 so I really liked ML and was dreaming oh I want understand matrix and other math staff on such hight level and I want improve my TL language and learn a new one and I want to sit before my laptop and do my job from any place and it gonna give me money that i can exchange it on shelter and provide food but before the applying into university I was working on a lot of useless jobs which teach me what i dont want to have and I should be service on military service in a month and it is scaring me all the year and my ex job made me anxious even more and my whole body is in main from nervous and i dont want be in army with rough people because i will not handle a year with such people and what i want to say all my dream about ideal day came true when I randomly passed exams into university after studying in collage and here are cool doctors who has PhD and this is so cool and my life so meaningful and I will be geting money for what i realy like to do for free and I will improve my skills to sell them for money in the future and here are also and Math with linear algebra and analytical geometry and chemistry and two languages a one which i want to improve and second which  i was wanting to start study but i relised the most uneasy thing it my house i  live with my parents they both ended only 9 classes because they get married too early and when my mom was teaching in university she was  stoped by my father who are now the CTO of big international compay and he is such mormon it is realy the braking mirror between the Doctors and My father my father has stupid anlogical opinion when doctors much more better than me and I really feel myself like if i will be study hard I will get advantage on more people because i will be easily study actual skills which gonna be hightlytradef because a very little people have them so but i feel that the messy environment realy make hard to do my homework because the TV is blasting dogs always want my attention my little sister always scrolling tik tok loudly and my father always say nonsense and that students are not people  and that  I should just to get a job ( i see where come such type of job ,you gonna have outdated non liquid skill set which untradeable ) so I so scared to be forced be into military and so happy that my dream day come true