“You are the person that you are when things are hard.”

An interesting quote I heard today completely outside of the context of this topic, and it struck a chord with me for a few reasons.

Number one because it’s a reminder for me that no matter how much I want to or maybe feel I need to, stooping to her level will only hurt my own integrity. I can’t control her, but I can control me, and trying to treat her the way I am treated is only spreading around more pain. That’s not me, or who I want to be. Overall I think I am staying pretty true to that, and in those moments where I’m not, I never lose myself. And I do what she can never do - apologize first, and do it genuinely.

Number two because, I think for a lot of us, our spouses become extremely nasty under stress - including everyday stress that we would consider to be a part of life and be able to cope with without harming others or exacerbating the situation even further. And because they can always tie some of their worst behavior to the stress, they think that absolves them of guilt somehow. “That wasn’t the real me” or “I didn’t mean any of it” are their go to lines. But it’s a cliche for a reason: when the chips are down, that’s when you show the world who you really are.

Idk, just food for thought.