HAD SEX W MY EX FOR 13 HOURS (AIO)

19 yr old female 20 yr old male ex we had sex from 5pm to 6am the next morning on and off sleeping and cuddling and watchinh movies before i went to work in the morning. he brought me gifts he got for me on a trip he went on w his family in dubai, including a grad gift and a surprise gifts of stuff he knew i liked. i still love him i think, and i feel like he does to or definetly still has feelings for me. maybe but enough. the reason we broke up was from pressure and disapproval from both our families who dont believe in interracial relationships, my parents dont allow it but because im fully financially independent and less attached to my family than he is. his parents are rich and he depends on them for everything, his car, tuition, housing, allowance etc. they also are racist and dont like black people which i am a bw, so basically being w me woulf get him cut off from everything financially, emotionally and even getting disowned again if he gets back w me. the sex was great and passionate probably better than when we were together, we told eachother we loved eachother and he called me beautiful. we hadnt slept together or seen eachother in 5 months so i guess that was a part of it. we broke up in october from his mother freaking out about him dating a non brown girl and someone black who wasnt his ethnicity. everything was perfect to be honest in our relationship before his parents made him either break up w me or be cut off from the entire family including relatives. we never fought, he never cheated, looked at girls or anything, we had the same goals, he paid for all dates, the sex was okay, he always surprised me with little gifts or clothes, stuffies, bags, he made time for me whenever even for 30 minutes or 10 minutes between classes, before class, we called and facetimed often, in between exam breaks he would come see me and frequently he would even if we didnt hook up. even once he walked 2 hours in minus 30 winter to come see me. the only small issue we had when we were together was that he has a super demanding major (engineering) so during exam session we wouldny see eachother as much as usual but he’d still make time but now that i think about it i would do anything to go back to that time if it meant being w him again.

i dont really see myself w anyone else and i know how fucked up the dating scene is in general so i already know there really isnt anything for me out there anyway. ive tried seeing new guys after we broke up but dont really feel anything, most of them are lame or only want sex, cant give commitment and i even struggle to find any guys attractive.

we have had alot of bumps in our relatinship but it was mostly just outside sources for example his grandma passed away last august w cancer while we were still dating and he was distraught so he had to move away for the summer and we did long distance, then October comes and his mom finds out about me when i call him she sees my contact. everything blows up both families go crazy, his parents ghost him and disown him for three months w no financial support. we get closer but are broken up, his mental health goes down. January they speak to him again. may he gets diagnosed w the same cancer that his grandma died from in august. he moves away and leaves school to go back to his parents for treatment. august his grandpa dies from a heart attack hes distraught again. whole family is going through stuff goes away for a month for funeral stuff, September he comes sees me secretly while in my city with a relative.

i know we wont be able to get back together because of all this stuff hes dealing w and with his family. his mother is why we broke up then convinced his father to take her side to and he says shes going through alot since losing both parents back to back and then he son getting cancer. but i do want to get back with him eventually and willing to wait till things settle down. and i know everyone in the comments will tell me to let it go but we still have feelings for each-other and hes told me it. hes coming over again tommorow morning and idk how to feel. ive thought about ghosting him and sending all his stuff back because i dont know how much longer i can wait and be in this situationship where your more then friends but less than bf and gf. hes the first guy ive had sex w, kissed or dated or had a talking stage with and so am i to him.