Older brother with schizophrenia

When I was around 12 years old my 16 year old half brother started to abuse me sexually. I was confused and didn't understand the gravity of what was happening until years later (im now 34 male). This continued on for several years and because of how my body reacted to it all I felt like I was a willing participant. For years of my adult life I have been confused about my sexuality and found it very difficult to maintain any relationships, even non sexual ones. We found out years later about my brother's mental health issues and I suspect he also experienced some type of abuse as well before hand as well. The reason I am here is because I've only ever told this to two people. One is my loving long time girlfriend who is extremely supportive. The other was my father who at the time was not told who did it, but he did not believe me. I'm trying to start a recovery from all of this and I guess I am just lost. I don't seek justice or revenge. I just want to feel normal and shed some of this anger, guilt and depression that I've felt for so long. I appreciate you if you took the time to read or respond, thank you very much.