Dead bedroom AP men

Please no DMs

Update: We spoke on the phone this morning on the way to work. He says he realized it wasn’t getting better just through frequency and more familiarity and called two weeks ago to book an appointment with his doctor to discuss options. He maintains this was not an issue in the past for him. He has already purchased a numbing cream but was waiting to suggest trying it until after he speaks with his doctor (tomorrow). He showed me the cream which was in his car. He even has made an appointment with a pelvic physiotherapist to see if its a problem with his pelvic floor being weak as he had double hernia surgery about a year ago, and he read that a sort of Kegal exercise could help, he showed me the confirmation email for the appointment, which is 6 weeks out due to a long wait list for the clinic. So he has been doing research and taking steps on his own he just didn’t communicate that to me. We spoke about why that was and there is an element of embarrassment on his part, fear that if he spoke to me about it without having good solutions that I would think it wasn’t worth it to continue and a history of any sexual topic being completely taboo in the past with his wife. I believe that this was not a previous issue that he just refused to address and now that I know he is looking for solutions I am very happy to continue. Thanks all.

Looking for advice or similar scenarios and how it played out.

I have become involved with an AP (M40) who comes from a long term dead bedroom. No sex at all for 5 years and before that was encouraged to “make it quick”. He has been married a very long time with few sexual partners. He lacks stamina in the bedroom, but is very willing to make up for it in other ways. He is otherwise perfect; a fit and attractive, sweetheart of a man who I really enjoy talking to and spending time with, and has the means and availability to make it all work. I would really like to make the situation work for me. I have asked him about it and he told me that he feels like he will be able to last longer now that he can have a more regular sex life and he is with someone that is not just waiting for it to be over as well as him getting used to some other things.

Fast forward to now -Its been 5 weeks and about 10 dates and its still over in 1-2 minutes tops. Again, he takes care of me in other ways before or after so I am not being left hanging, and we spend lots of time cuddling, talking and laughing together afterwards, but I would really enjoy a longer session.

I am just wondering if other people have found that stamina improved over time with their dead bedroom APs? If so how long did it take, was frequency of meeting your AP a factor? Or from a man’s perspective, was this a problem when going from no sex to regular sex? Did it change for you- how long did it take and was there anything you did to make a difference?