TW ED, SH, Depression, suicide attempt - My (20f) partner tried to OD, I need to understand (21m)

To start from the beginning here my girlfriends been dealing with depression along 4-5 years now as well as an ED 3-4 of those. She’s been up and she’s been down but within the last 3 of those years it’s been getting progressively, slowly worse, I’ve only been with her for 1 1/2 of those years but during that time it’s head it’s head. She was admitted into a facility a couple months back with mid 30 bpm and severely underweight (this is post us getting her in with a team of specialists to help her get better) and when she was back from the facility back up to a normal heart rate and in her bmi range she was getting better, it was hard but she pushed through every single day and she was getting better. But recently, I’m not sure why exactly yet she started declining. Post her stay at that facility she had become more open about her suicidal ideation, it was alarming to hear as it’s never anything I’d heard of even at that point nor a concept I’d have considered for a person but she expressed it won’t go away and she’s just like that- but is that really true ? She expresses at the same time sometimes when she’s feeling good things that are the opposite of “everything is hopeless and drab and blah” which is albeit kind of confusing cause I wonder if even though she’s not expressing that she still thinks it (she says everything is beautiful and looks at nature and appreciates it but inside of her she is still hopeless) I think for a while she’s thought about the end of her life. She’s attempted SH in the earliest years of her depression but her mom got a handle on it ie removing sharp objects keeping watch on her taking pills etc. but for Her she expressed it wasn’t for her in the first place and was ashamed to have given it thought. But she’ll talk about suicide sometimes casually and everytime I don’t ever really know what to say I can draw her away from it but I know that me “drawing her away” is just her not talking about it anymore and that’s not exactly…. Helpful… i don’t mind her talking about anything but it’s more so the act that I just don’t know how to help with. All of this heading by she tried to actually take her own life yesterday, she took all of her antidepressants and I believe half a bottle of ibuprofen, but after the fact she went to her mom (all of this happens within maybe 5 minutes or less) and shows her the empty bottles, prior to this she had told her mom goodbye essentially but her mom didn’t catch it I guess. Her mom rushes her to the hospital and they give her charcoal and put her on 24 hour hold (as of right now it’s 72 hour 5150) she’s never tried anything like this. She had been calling me and I would talk to her but she would just say she misses me but when I was with her she seemed absent, she had just gotten a second job and expressed to me at her other job that sometimes she wishes she was dead so she wouldn’t have to come into work and to line up with that she did this right before she had to clock into the second job. I just don’t know what to do, I love her with all of my heart but admittedly I didn’t sign up for this. I won’t leave her but I want her to get better and I just want to understand, she knows I don’t understand it the way she feels it but I try my hardest. I’m upset and I can’t feel anything and I’m upset that I can’t even feel anything because I know she’s going through minor hell in that hospital right now and I don’t even know what to say to her, I just need anything. I’ll do anything