AITA: (23/F) I’m Split Between Two Guys and I Don’t Know What To Do.

I (23/F) have been dating this guy (30/M) for 3 and a half years. Our relationship is generally amicable and we’ve been living together as well. We have tons of similar hobbies and primarily act like best friends in our relationship. Problem is: I feel stagnant. We haven’t moved towards any major goals, we don’t travel, and we’re not vying for marriage or kids. Every time I pose the idea of doing something “big”, he glad my agrees but doesn’t act on anything and waits for me to take the lead. This ultimately leads to us not going anywhere in our relationship. If I’m thinking of the relationship as “in-the-moment”, it’s fine. But I don’t see a future for us.

This weekend, I went to visit an old friend of mine who went to the navy (M/23). We had a great time and went to the beach, aquarium, an escape room, the mall, etc. and I crashed at his apartment with an air mattress. I’ve known this guy for about 10 years so I trust him. We dated back in high school but I broke up with him because I wasn’t sure about being in a long distance relationship with a guy in the navy who I’d hardly ever see. He told me the break up devastated him but we still managed to rebuild a friendship afterwards.

When I hung out with him this weekend, there were times where it felt like sparks were flying. We got close again and had a deep conversation. He told me how he loved me back then and wanted to marry me when he came out the navy if we stayed together. He wanted to work and secure a future for us. I told him I was sorry for ruining everything back then. I made the impulsive decision to leave the relationship because of fear of loneliness.

He told me that it’s not completely ruined and that this weekend reignited his buried feelings for me. He said that while we can’t date right now, he promises to “always keep his door open for me.”

What do I do in this situation? I like both guys but I feel like Guy B (24/M) would be more likely to give me a better future than Guy A (30/M).

But I’ve also been with Guy A for-soon-to-be-approaching 4 years and established a great relationship with his friends and family who are 100% convinced we’d get married in the future.