How to Help the Wild One

I have a very chill 4 year old and a fucking insane 2 year old. It’s not an age thing, she’s always been out of control (the nurses in the mother baby unit even commented on it).

I have to drop my 4 year old off in his classroom every morning. We go in, unpack his bag, wash hands, then settle in with a play station.

The issue is that my 2 year old fucking LOSES HER SHIT when he washes his hands bc she just can’t handle that she’s not while he is. She does the same thing at home. Last year I wore her onbuhimo style every. fucking. day. Pick up and drop off bc she would just scream and fuss so bad unless she was contained.

I want to start this year off right. Any suggestions on books or toys that might help? Idk what I’m even looking for. We talk endlessly about sharing and taking turns.